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Lord Jesus Christ was hit by a Monte Carlo in Mass over the weekend. Pray for him. It’s proof that Massachusetts hates the Yankees and Our Lord & Savior. A man whose name, by law on his identification, is Lord Jesus Christ, was struck by a 20-year-old driving a 2005 Chevy Monte Carlo. Oh Monte, why have you forsaken us?!
Jesus Christ suffered minor injuries when crossing in a Northampton, Massachusetts crosswalk this weekend. 20-year old Brittany E. Cantarella failed to yield while making a left-hand turn and clipped The Son of a Carpenter. She was given a ticket for moving violation, no word yet on whether she was also issued a ticket straight to hell – (we stole that joke from our source Motor Authority, because it’s just too darn good).
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